Evolving

e·volve

ēˈvälv/

verb

gerund or present participle: evolving

1. 1.

   develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complex form.

   "the company has evolved into a major chemical manufacturer"

   
   

When I originally created this blog it was as a way to express myself and nurture myself though a very dark time in my life.  It was a way to help me make sense of what didn't make sense in my life and to work through it the way I best knew how.

A lot has happened since I first started writing in this blog and much has changed, the most significant thing that has changed though has been myself.  I was living in darkness constantly searching for the light.  I found it.

My worst case scenarios from the early days have come to reality and have come to pass.  I have survived that which I thought then I surely couldn't and most amazing is that I have grown and matured and learned and I'm thriving because of it all.

During the last few years, but the last year especially I have overcome and conquered things I thought I never would.  I am striving for and reaching goals, I am making dreams come true and I'm living in the moment in a way I could have only dreamed of.

As a result this blog is going to change and evolve with me.  I'm still a Mom of 4, I'm still a Christian and I still believe in the many of the same things, I still desire to share my stories  to help others. There's no format or right or wrong for me anymore.  There's just my thoughts and feelings thrown out on the World Wide Web for any and all to see. I stopped writing for a good while because I thought it needed to be a certain way, but then I was reminded that this blog was never for anyone but me anyway.   So if you stumble here I hope you find something to help you, inspire you, make you laugh or just smile.  

It's Been Awhile

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

-Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings 

Wow!   By some force of nature I opened this blog today.  It truly seems like it's only been a week or two since I last hit publish on here and sent my words and thoughts into cyber space.  It's sad for me to see how much time has actually passed.  It's been two years and I have written nothing at all. For a time I lost my "voice", my desire, my determination.

For me writing is therapy, a way to express myself and release things pent up inside me.  To share joys and happy moments and to grieve sad moments.  It's a way to celebrate the beauty of life and my family.  But most important for me, it keeps me creating and going in sanity.

So much has happened in the past two years, most of it great, some not so much and I am unsure if I can catch up a lot of what happened, but I definitely will try.  What I have written her has been pretty much private, but maybe it's time to release that, may not.  Thanks to social media though, I should have a fairly good account to do what I can, not that it matters much because I don't think this gets too much attention anyway, it's primarily written for me.  It's my journey, my struggles, my joys and it's an account of where I was and where I am. 

Welcome Back Steph.........let's see what you got now :)

  

Five Minute Friday: Finish

Topic:  Finish

START:

Nothing is ever finished in life, not truly.  We often set goals for our lives, but what happens once we reach them, do we suddenly just stop doing what got us to that point because we reached the finish line? No we don't, instead we set new goals and start working towards them.  We constantly change and evolve and move in different directions but we rarely ever finish anything worthy.  Yes we finish our dinner, we finish a race, we finish a book.  But in the larger more important scale we never really finish.  We simply change, evolve, grow and redirect who we are and where we are at. 

STOP

I am so incredibly blessed to live in a state as beautiful as Michigan and a town nestled on the water with an abundance of beach that I can go and watch the sunset and rise on!

For as long as I can remember I have always loved sunsets.  While I do appreciate the beauty of a good sunrise, sunsets for me are magical and breathtaking.   In those few minutes as the sun begins it's decent into the western horizon, the world seems to halt.  Clarity is found in the crisp mirage of bright colors that dance across the sky, peace is found in the gentle lapping of the waves on the shore and there is beauty in everything.  People slow down and fall silent and for just a few moments we are all as one on the beach.  Lost in our own thoughts, drinking in nature's beauty and God's gift in the brilliance of the sunsets.

If I could I would catch the sunset every single day, regardless of weather or season for they are all beautiful and unique.  I am happy today I could partake in the magical, mystical beauty at sunset.

Okay, so maybe food shouldn't be my featured "happiness" again today.

 

However, it's more than just the amazing food that made me so stinking happy today.

 

It's also the fact that today was the first decent day after an extremely long winter we could fire up the grill and enjoy being outside without freezing our butts off.  

The other aspect to being such a great day was the location and the company.   For several years now I have helped out at "The Mansion" as we call it.   The Mansion is a 12,000 sqft vacation rental home located on Lake Michigan, the views are breathtaking. 
 The final aspect was the company.  Today we had an impromptu meeting for everyone who "works" at The Mansion.  We all do seperate jobs and stuff so we rarely see each other.  It was a nice treat to hang out with and spend time with those I rarely see, it happens not nearly enough. 

100 Happy Days

100 Happy Days has a purpose.  The purpose is to focus on 1 thing EVERY DAY for 100 days (no matter what is happening) that makes you happy, photograph it and share it. The belief is that by doing this in 100 days it will change how you view life in general and you will be more positive everyday.  Who doesn't need more positivity in their day right?  So I am going for it.   

The general purpose wasn't to do to as a blog but to use on Social Media such as FB, Twitter, Instagram etc.   (Yes I have these and yes I will post there) but I am a story teller to, so here I will utilize the space to not just pictures but the stories as well.

One of my favorite things to do is to get creative with cooking and to cook with others.  I am blessed to have a great friend who also loves to cook and try her hand a creative cooking.   Not everything we do is a success, but thankfully we have many more successes than we do failures.  

Tonight we tried our hand a Mexican spread and EVERYTHING was a success, except the kitchen which was a disaster.   Despite the mess and the full bellies that have to clean up that mess, it was a great night hanging out with friends and enjoying the wonderful food we made.

There truly is something to be said about gathering together and sharing a meal that brings people closer together. 

To be broken

Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.

Napoleon Hill

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/growth.html#W2mTRtIF5z6uoh8q.99

“We are all wonderful, beautiful wrecks. That's what connects us--that we're all broken, all beautifully imperfect.”
― Emilio Estevez

Life is a journey that is best lived through experience and acceptance of said experiences.  There is no way to live a life fully without the possibility of becoming broken at one time or another.  We are all bound by our hurts, pains and brokenness.  It's how we learn to live with and deal with the shattered pieces and torn moments of our life that truly and completely defines who we are as people and also the magnitude to which we live out our lives. 

We have become a culture that compares ones broken pieces to another persons broken pieces.   We allow that to define who has the right to hurt and suffer more based on the situation to which one was shattered.  The problem with that is there is no definition of what it means to suffer.  A woman who is raped is no less broken down than a man that lost his wife to infidelity.  A man that was abused is no less broken than a woman who lost her parents.  The pain we travel through is individual, it is not less or greater than another persons.  It is the same and it is painful.  It's the times of trial and how we handle them that make up the life we live. 

Broken people, like all, have a choice on how they will allow the brokenness to define and dictate their lives.  It doesn't matter what your situation is.  If you have have experienced pain that has broken you, then you are broken, what that experience was is irrelevant. What is relevant is how you let it define you and shape you.  Do you, in your pain, strike out at another and hurt them?  Or rather do you allow your pain and broken pieces to heal through helping another in their moments of brokenness? 

How you choose to handle these moments will set the course for who you become when the pieces are put back together and you become a more whole version of yourself.  And regardless of where you are now, you will heal.  It may not seem possible now, but in time you will heal.  You may never forget those that hurt you or the situation that shattered you, but you will carry on to live another day and eventually you will learn to smile again.