Out of the Darkness

1 John 1:5

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

I have decided to create  this blog as a way to share with others the walk I am on personally.

I am a Christian, though most days it doesn't feel like it.  Most days I question my faith and beliefs, most days I am insecure in my walk.  This blog has come about because of years worth of jogging up and down the path of Christianity. 

I was baptized at the age of 5.  And that was about the extent of church in my childhood.  Despite that, as a child I knew God.  I would have conversations with him often.  When my parents divorced, he was there to comfort me.  I could feel his arms holding me.  I rested in his protection and fed off his strength.  As I grew older I continued to have my conversations with GOD.  I would consult him often and foremost for any adolescent problems I had, fears I had or pain I experienced and I always knew that I was safe and would survive.  He was always present, ALWAYS.

Sometime in my preteen to early teen years, I shared with a friend my special relationship with GOD and was informed I was ~~~CRAZY~~~and I began to doubt. As a result,  I stopped talking to GOD, stopped turning to GOD, stopped relying on GOD.  I never stopped believing.

As I grew up, it was easy to believe, but not act on my beliefs.  I knew GOD existed, but I no longer knew how to regain that close personal relationship I had as a child. 

Over the years the bright light that nourished my childhood has dimmed and I began to live in darkness.  Pure, terror stricken darkness.  My life became ever more confusing, lost and miserable. 

Forward to now.  Recent events have pushed me back into the desire and search for that personal relationship renewal with GOD a search for light an end to darkness.  It is no longer a thought in my head, but a necessity for survival.

So this is my journey to regain the relationship I once had.  My journey from darkness into light.  A rebirth of life and love.

These words are my struggles to find that peace again, to find that serenity, to return to blind faith.  These posts are my desires to help others out there know they are not alone, for please and surely don't let me be the only one who struggles this hard with my faith.

(Most of the past blog posts will be taken from my personal handwritten journal, they could be hard to understand, for that I apologize, sort of.)




Today's Prayer:


Dear Father, 
Thank you for loving my broken self.  For allowing me to come to You for all areas of my life and for the joy that is abundant in you.  Thank you for giving me this outlet and place to share my journey with others, in the hopes that maybe my struggles and strife can touch and help another's life.
In Jesus Name: