Evolving

e·volve

ēˈvälv/

verb

gerund or present participle: evolving

1. 1.

   develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complex form.

   "the company has evolved into a major chemical manufacturer"

   
   

When I originally created this blog it was as a way to express myself and nurture myself though a very dark time in my life.  It was a way to help me make sense of what didn't make sense in my life and to work through it the way I best knew how.

A lot has happened since I first started writing in this blog and much has changed, the most significant thing that has changed though has been myself.  I was living in darkness constantly searching for the light.  I found it.

My worst case scenarios from the early days have come to reality and have come to pass.  I have survived that which I thought then I surely couldn't and most amazing is that I have grown and matured and learned and I'm thriving because of it all.

During the last few years, but the last year especially I have overcome and conquered things I thought I never would.  I am striving for and reaching goals, I am making dreams come true and I'm living in the moment in a way I could have only dreamed of.

As a result this blog is going to change and evolve with me.  I'm still a Mom of 4, I'm still a Christian and I still believe in the many of the same things, I still desire to share my stories  to help others. There's no format or right or wrong for me anymore.  There's just my thoughts and feelings thrown out on the World Wide Web for any and all to see. I stopped writing for a good while because I thought it needed to be a certain way, but then I was reminded that this blog was never for anyone but me anyway.   So if you stumble here I hope you find something to help you, inspire you, make you laugh or just smile.  

Little Things

This second day journey into 2013 has been one full of little things that made it a beautiful day. 

I am often amazed at how the little things can add up to become big things in the course of life.  For me those little things came in the form of my children and the constant blessings they offer, when I least expect it.

It started with a text from my oldest son (11) wishing me a good morning and telling me how much he missed me at his overnight.

Next came watching my youngest son (10) greet his friends for a spontaneous afternoon of sledding and snow football. 

Then came the amazing dinner with my oldest child (16), a rare one on one moment that left my heart almost bursting with love, joy and comfort.  I didn't think anything could top off the amazing time I had with just my oldest daughter, but my youngest daughter and her friend were able to top it off.

The final small part to make my beautiful day came in the imagination and innocent play of my youngest (7) and her friend (8) as they played for hours, using imagination and a few props.  I quietly listened as they worked together to build a house out of a Jenga game.  Once the house was built I listened as their compassionate hearts nurtured hurt pet shop pets back to life and guided their babies into making right decisions instead of wrong ones.  In this wired world, their innocent imagination was the icing on the cake to this beautiful day.

The best parts of life often come in small, unimagined moments.  I am so thankful that I got to remember that today, time and time again through the blessing of my children. 

Psalm 127:3-5

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Tuesday Good Reads.....Crazy Love

Today's Inspiration

I asked Jesus ... "How much do you love me " And Jesus said ... "This much." Then He stretched out His arms and died.
- Unknown

I just finished the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  I realize that many people jumped on this Crazy Love bandwagon about a year or so ago, when I originally bought the book.   I however, did not read the book until recently when I downloaded it onto my kindle (favorite gift ever).

It was a long wait in getting this book read and finished, but it was so worth it.  Whether you have read the book a year ago or never heard of it, if you desire a deeper more substantial relationship with God, this book is a must read.  

Francis Chan explores the average Christians relationship with God in Churches today.  Throughout the book Chan encourages Christians to explore their relationship with God at the level it is currently and encourages them to push deeper into that relationship, citing examples in the Bible and of others who have exceeded the boundaries in their calling and relationship with the Creator.  


While reading Crazy Love, I was forced to take a good hard look at myself and my personal relationship with Christ.  Throughout this book I realized that I had a lot of work to do in myself and in my relationship with God.  I have put many suggestions in the book into play and anticipate reading the book again, a year from now to see where I have grown and where I still need to grow and encourage everyone to read the book at least once.


Francis Chan also included a video series to get you thinking deeper about your relationship with God for each chapter of this book.  These are also well worth the time it takes to check them out.  I have attached the introduction to crazy love at the bottom of this post!

Below I have included links to the book on Amazon and to the ebook, which is 2.24 on Amazon, not a bad deal to help grow your relationship with God. 

                                                                                                 

The above links are for the book or ebook.

Deuteronomy 6:5

Love the Lord your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

Prayer Journal.....

Today's Inspiration

After the writer's death, reading his journal is like receiving a long letter.

~Jean Cocteau

Just a little over two years ago, I began to faithfully keep a journal, which in a short time became a prayer journal.  I recently pulled the early journal out, in the hopes of transferring them here and was astounded by the amount of pain that came through on the pages, it was clear that during those early moments I was not only in a lot of pain, I was also confused and very self-centered in my prayers.  Much of those early writings, when things first happened, were an excellent reflection of my life, they were confusing and made very little sense, jumbled and hard to understand.


As I flipped further through the journal(s), I began to see God's hand in my life, even through the torment, fear, and uncertainty, I began to see where He was in control of my life and how I was growing through the trail I was in.


As I flip even further to more recent postings, my growth has become more centered and more apparent as I read those pages.  I am also able to see not only where God has been working in my life, but also where specific prayers  have been answered.


In a strange way, going back through those old journals and seeing where I was and where I am now, has helped me heal some of the old hurts and calm some of the underlying fears that I didn't realize were still burning within me.


It's helped me as I struggle right now with letting go and Trusting God to see where He has been working and answering those prayers and renewed my spirit to let go of these things I am afraid to release control of, for in my journals, I have irrevocable proof that God will handle it all.

Psalm 50:15

And call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you and you will honor Me......

Today's Prayer

Thank you Lord that you are there for us to call to in our moments of trouble, thank you that you rescue and renew us in moments of trail.  Thank you Father that you hold us steady when our paths are uneven.  Thank you that You will always love us and never leave us.

~In Jesus Name